


Disney and Brain Tumors in Space

by ashleybenlove



Category: Aladdin (1992), Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Finding Nemo (2003), Mulan (1998), The Incredibles (2004), The Lion King (1994), Toy Story (Movies), Up (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bones Fusion, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Space, Brain tumor, Buzz and Jessie are Booth and Brennan basically, Community: disney_kink, F/M, Gun Violence, Hallucinations, Head Injury, Mental Health Issues, Other Disney Characters show up as a plot device, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, the other TS characters are various Bones characters too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 07:17:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14689188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleybenlove/pseuds/ashleybenlove
Summary: Dr. Jessie Cowgirl is a forensic anthropologist. Buzz Lightyear is a Space Ranger. They solve crimes. In space.Buzz is also seeing Disney characters for some reason.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this anonymously in January 2011 on the Disney Kink Meme for the prompt: "I want Buzz suffering from a brain tumor or something similar, and hallucinating things. Maybe it's a human AU where the Disney characters pop up to talk to him- I don't care." The prompter made a reference to the last two episodes of Bones season 4, **The Critic in the Cabernet** and **The End in the Beginning**.
> 
> And I... just ran away with this prompt.

Buzz Lightyear knew the Bonandsunian Museum and Laboratory for many years. Seven years, to be exact, since the Director of Bonandsunian, Dr. Don Potead and the Director of Star Command, Trixie Cera Top had decided to combine their efforts in an effort to solve the crimes of the galaxy. Buzz had volunteered to work with the Laboratory because Director Top had said they were the best, and he had believed her, because he once he learned some of the names of the people who worked there, he found that in the past he had read their scholarly publications. Plus, he was one of the best too. 

Buzz had ended up meeting some great people by deciding to work with these people. The actual leaders of Bonandsunian were Doctors Don and Estelle Potead, a married couple. One was an archaeologist by training; the other had a medical degree, having surgery and pathology training. They had adult triplets who worked with Star Command. The unofficial leaders, though, were Dr. Woody Pride and Dr. Jessie Cowgirl. Dr. Pride could identify what planet any piece of anything belonged. He knew topography, soil, bugs, minerals, atmosphere, and so on and so forth. Dr. Cowgirl’s actual area of expertise was toward animals but she essentially was a forensic anthropologist, but she could identify bones of animal, human, or alien. If it had bones, she could tell you what it was and how it died. She was also incredibly smart, in all subjects. She even was rather proficient in medical matters, as part of her training. Dolly Casablanca was the artist of the Lab. She knew fabrics, computers, could draw renderings of the victim or whatever else they needed, and understood emotions fairly well. They also had experts in other fields ranging from psychology to general knowledge to politics. 

Bonandsunian was on Capital Planet, which also was called Earth. The exact location was in Tri-County. It was not within the main Star Command satellite, which orbited Capital Planet. Buzz thought this to be a good thing, given that Star Command could be attacked and their work destroyed if they were on the satellite. They were safer on-planet. Though, he would have liked that Jessie was with him at all times, so she’d be safe. So, Buzz divided his time between working in headquarters and going up to Capital Planet to work with the Lab. Because he spent so much time at the Lab, Jessie petitioned the Poteads a few years into their partnership to give him an office somewhere on the campus of the museum. “So you don’t have to waste the ship’s power supply,” she had said with a smile, but Buzz suspected there was more to that. It certainly was helpful. 

Buzz knew that over the seven years he worked with these people, he greatly cared for them. Especially Jessie. He had to remember when talking with Star Command to call the Doctors by their title and last name because he had been so used to calling Jessie by her first name and Woody by his first name. There was a familiarity. 

His team had had many adventures over the years. One that would always stand out for him was the Prospector, two and a half years after Buzz had joined the team. The Prospector had kidnapped Jessie and Woody, buried them alive in Jessie’s car in a coal mine on-planet. Jessie’s car was a Mustang she had affectionately named Emily, but it was large enough that they managed to survive inside it for more than twelve hours. She had been on her way for a solo visit to one of the psychologists working with Star Command and Bonandsunian (the psychologists chose to work on-planet at a Star Command office building on Capital Planet in Tri-County). Buzz had been off-planet at Star Command, when he had been called frantically first by Dr. Ken Carsons, who Jessie had been going for an appointment with (they both sometimes went to him, sometimes alone, sometimes together) and then by the female Dr. Potead, Dolly, and one of Cowgirl’s expert assistants, Barbie. 

Here’s what had went down:

Buzz had been in his Star Command office that day, just working on desk stuff, when his wrist communicator rang. He answered it, “Lightyear.”

Without bothering to greet him, Carsons simply started to speak “Dr. Carsons here. Is Dr. Cowgirl off-planet with you right now? She missed our appointment (it’s been more than an hour already!) and I tried calling her phone but she didn’t answer!” Ken sounded afraid and upset. He even let out a whine.

“No. She’s not. I talked to her a few hours ago and she said she’d be going to see you then. Thank you for informing me, Ken. I’ll find out what’s going on.”

He ended the call. Before he could do anything, various phones and communication devices all went off at the same time. Dolly telling him that Woody was also missing from the building and she couldn’t reach him. Barbie was in tears about her laudable Dr. Cowgirl (Buzz figured Dr. Carsons had called Barbie to let her know; they were an item) being out of contact. Dr. Potead with information that he got almost at the same time: the Prospector telling him that he had taken Doctors Pride and Cowgirl. Buzz left Star Command immediately and stayed in the Bonandsunian making sure Jessie’s people figured out where the two were. It had taken a lot of work, but they did, and they saved Woody and Jessie. 

Jessie’s Mustang did not survive. They did eventually put the Prospector to justice. Though, Jessie came out of the experience with claustrophobia and anxiety and panic attacks. She refused to talk to Doctor Carsons or the more experienced psychologist on their team, Dr. Gordon Pricklepants about it – except when Buzz was there. For some reason, his sitting next to her allowed her to let her walls fall down. She eventually got a new Mustang, which she named Bullseye. 

Jessie felt very comfortable with the Space Ranger. Given that they sometimes spent a few days alone (or just the two and Woody) on a Spaceship traveling, they had to be. The ship had only one living quarters (built for several people), so they often had no privacy. She had seen Lightyear naked, and he had seen her naked. They had saved each other’s lives. He had been wounded to protect her. She had a scar on her arm from when she blocked a shot taken at Buzz.

They were not sexually involved, though; despite what others thought. They both privately had feelings for one another that crossed that line, however. The furthest their relationship went was the occasional hug or cheek kiss, and seeing each other in the nude when changing in the ship locker area. They were friends, though, outside of work, enjoying each other’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 includes an actual story arc from Bones that was from **The Aliens in a Spaceship**. And other small references (Booth took a bullet for Brennan, and so on). Part of a narrative line (which, I'm guessing is the "walls fall down" bit) is a reference to the Beyonce song, “Halo.”


	2. Chapter 2

Going on off-planet missions to work on cases was a regular part of their life. When they had to leave planet, Jessie would sit at her office desk and speak with several of her co-workers and assistants before leaving. At her desk this time was Dr. Hamm, Barbie Roberts, Rex Dinsor, and a few others. Dr. Pride, Doctors Potead, and Ms. Casablanca had already spoken with Jessie earlier. 

“Are you going to be back later today?”

“No, Ms. Roberts. Lightyear and I will be off-planet for at least a day. I will be back sometime in the next few days.”

“Can we get into contact with you if possible?” Rex asked, nervously.

“Yes, but direct it to Dr. Pride, Ms. Casablanca or one of the Poteads, please,” Jessie requested. “They’ll contact us if it’s urgent.” 

Rex had a tendency to panic and send many messages when they were gone for off-planet missions. Buzz found it aggravating when his communicator had too many messages from what he called the “toys” (a term of endearment that Jessie did not like), so after hearing him groan one too many times, Jessie created a rule: the “toys” (her assistants/underlings), if they needed to contact Jessie or Buzz when they were on off-planet missions, they had to direct their communication to the Poteads, Dolly or Woody. 

There was a knock at her door. Dolly stood at her door.

“Sweetie?” Dolly asked. “Buzz is here.”

Jessie’s assistants made to sit up and Jessie said, “All right. If I need to tell any more, I’ll contact you. You’re dismissed.” She turned to Dolly, “Dolly, let him in.”

“You know I don’t need an announcement, Dolly,” Buzz said as he walked into Jessie’s office. Buzz had a grin on his face, for both Jessie and Dolly. The assistants and others stood up and left. 

“Nice suit, sir,” Barbie said as she left the room. She gave him a smile.

Yes, he was a Space Ranger, but he usually never wore the spacesuit when he was on a planet, he tried to restrict that to when he was at Star Command’s main satellite or in space. When he worked on planet, simply wore a suit and a tie. Today: a very fashionable black suit and tie. He nodded curtly at Barbie. Dolly stood at the door as he walked into the room and stood at Jessie’s desk.

“You ready?” Buzz asked Jessie.

Jessie nodded. She stood up and grabbed the large pack by her desk. She hoisted it over her shoulder and began to walk towards him, “You know, she’s right.” 

“What?”

“That is a nice suit. You look good in it. I like getting to see you sans space suit.” She patted him on the shoulder, once within arms length. 

“He probably looks better without any suit on,” Dolly whispered.

“Dolly!” Jessie exclaimed, her face flushing. She took a deep breath and then gave Dolly a big hug.

“Don’t let Woody yell too much at the assistants too much,” Jessie said. 

“You mean ‘the toys?’” Buzz said once Jessie had released Dolly.

“Can I borrow Bullseye?” Woody asked as he embraced Jessie and then shook Buzz’s hand.

“Cowboy, she won’t even let me drive it when we’re on-planet in the field,” Buzz said.

“That’s not true!” Jessie exclaimed. “You drive it sometimes when I…” 

She trailed off, but he knew. Sometimes she’d get flashbacks to her experience with the Prospector and wouldn’t want to drive a car.

Once she came back from her anxiety and awkwardness she spoke again: “No, Woody,” with a big smile. 

“Jessie, we should get going. We have a twelve hour flight,” Buzz said. “Come on.” He put a hand on her back. 

“All right, I’m going, I’m going.” She turned her head to wave at Dolly and Woody, they waved back.

Woody and Dolly watched the two leave the Lab, Buzz and Jessie’s shoulders practically touching.

“I hope they’ll be okay,” Dolly said. Even after so long, she never liked when Jessie went out in the field. 

Woody gave Dolly’s shoulders a hug. “They will. They take care of each other.”

“I wish they took care of each other in a more physical way.”

“Dolly!”

They started walking together towards Woody’s office. “Come on, Woody. I wonder if our dear old Doctors Carsons or Pricklepants have anything to say about how apparently neither of them has had a romantic partner in a very long time.”

Woody held his hands up. “I’m not helping them, don’t ask me.”

“You think all those lonely spaceship missions together and seeing each other naked and going out for drinks together would be a clue to them.” 

“Doll, they happen to be professionals. Buzz especially. It took him about two years before he started calling me anything aside from Dr. Pride,” Woody said as he sat down. 

“You don’t think they’re attracted to each other? I’ve seen the way he looks at her.”

“So have I. But it’s not my place to butt in.”

 

 

 

“Change into spacesuits before or after we’re in space?” Jessie asked as she sat down in the co-pilot’s seat. “I feel impractical being dressed in khakis and a blouse in a spaceship.”

“I will not start the ship unless we’re both in spacesuits,” Buzz said. He then crossed his arms and gave her a stern look. “Dr. Cowgirl, you’re changing now.”

Raising an eyebrow at him for the formality, Jessie simply got up gracefully from her seat and walked past him, heading to the living quarters. She turned around just as gracefully to say, “You don’t have to wait for me to finish changing, Ranger Lightyear. It’ll take less time.” She then continued to walk towards the living quarters. 

Buzz drew in a breath and followed slowly, mentally naming space explorers… _Laika, Jim Lovell, Buzz Aldrin, Edwin Hubble, Galileo Galilei…_

When he finally arrived in the living quarters, she was already standing by a locker, removing her clothes. He could see her bare back as she went from wearing the standard brassiere women wear on-planet to the space brassiere designed by Star Command women for wearing when working in space or when not in Earth orbit. The space brassiere was basically just a glorified sports bra that made sure there was as little as jiggle and sag as possible to protect against the effects of zero gravity. It was a very comfortable item, in fact. Once he felt that she had correctly put the item on (he thought it was very complicated and there was at least one incident where she left it on when she came back from an off-planet mission), he continued on with the removal of his own clothes. 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that, Buzz,” Jessie said. “It’s on correctly. I’ve been putting on a bra for over twenty years. I know how to do it.” 

“Just don’t forget to remove it when we’re back on planet,” Buzz said. He had removed most of his clothes, and was about to sit down to put on the purple body garment that was worn underneath the space suit when she decided to retort.

“Are you kidding me?!” Jessie yelled and turned around, staring at him. 

He turned around, taking care to set the body garment down and looked at her. Oh, Stars. He was naked; she was naked below her navel. Keeping the space explorers in his mind, he kept his eyes at her face, and one of his hands covering his own bits. 

“What?” he asked.

“That was one time! One time! And it was for only three hours. And I was working the entire time!”

“You know that the Space Brassiere is meant for zero gravity environments!” 

“We’re still on planet right now! I’m wearing it right now!” she pointed at her breasts, mostly covered by the brassiere. She then waved her hands in a faux-scary motion and said, “Oooh.” She then looked down at her own body and realized. She squeaked.

“Buzz, can we continue this conversation a bit later?” she asked.

He nodded.

They both turned around and began to put the suits on. Buzz whispered to himself, “Laika, Alan Shepard, Jim Lovell, Buzz Aldrin, Sergei K. Krikalev, Johannes Kepler…” He sighed. 

Finally, their suits were on them.

“Do you still desire to argue about space bras or have you calmed down, Buzz?” Jessie asked. She sounded annoyed but she looked kindly at him. 

“Not really,” Buzz said. 

“Can we go?”

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buzz reciting the names of various astronauts/persons/dog related to space exploration is a reference to **The Goop on the Girl** when Brennan is taking Booth’s clothes off and he starts reciting the names of Saints.


	3. Chapter 3

This off-planet mission entailed doing what they teamed up for: to find out who committed what crime (often violent crime). They had a lot of forensic evidence already in terms of the murder of an alien, but needed to go back to the planet to further interview people applicable to the investigation. It took them half a day in terms of Capital Planet’s day to reach there. They spoke with the Star Command on-planet station before going ahead and speaking with the suspects and persons related to the investigation. They managed to narrow down their suspects to about three, and they got to a fifth person, who’s alibi checked out, but was close to the victim (but could have known something), who when Buzz pushed him a little far in terms of the verbal interrogation, got physical with Buzz, giving Buzz a good conk on the head. 

Jessie reacted quickly, having been standing not far behind Buzz when it happened, stopping the attacker quickly and putting handcuffs on the attacker, so he couldn’t hit Buzz again, and so that Star Command workers near that room could then put him in a holding cell for “Assaulting a Star Command Ranger.” She stayed in the room with Buzz who had been knocked out. 

_“Buzz Lightyear! Buzz Lightyear! Wake up! You should wake up! That pretty lady with the red hair is trying to make you wake up! Squirrel!”_

_Buzz stared at the voice for a rather long moment before he recognized it and then finally realized that…_

_A dog just talked to him._

_“Are you… a cartoon dog?” he asked._

_“My name is Dug! And though you are not my Master, I love you! For I love all humans. As that is what_ Canis lupis familiaris _does! Make sure to protect the Cowgirl Doctor! Also, you should wake up!”_

_The dog licked him._

 

 

 

The next thing Buzz knew, Jessie’s hands touched Buzz’s head carefully. Firmly, but carefully. He was lying on the floor of the interrogation room and she was sitting by him. 

“Oh, thank Stars,” she said. She spoke slowly and clearly, “Are you okay?” 

Buzz nodded. “Uh, my head hurts.”

“Come on, we’re going to the infirmary,” Jessie said. She began to pull him up, which was rather tough as he weighed about 50 pounds more than she, but she managed to get him to sit up.

“I’m fine.”

“You got punched in the head. Go get checked out. And while we’re at it, we should contact Dr. Carsons and everyone else.”

Buzz groaned as he stood up and begun walking. “Not the toys. Not the toys.” 

Jessie breathed a sigh of relief for the fact that at least he was spoke clearly and was acted the same way he usually did.

 

 

 

“So, you got clocked in the head, huh?” Woody said. The computer image of their friend and co-worker showed clearly as he crossed his arms and grinned. He sat next to several of their co-workers, including one Potead, three “toys”, Carsons, and Dolly. 

They sat in the office of a desk Ranger who allowed them use of his computer while they conferred with their people.

“Yeah,” Buzz said. He held an ice pack to his head. “Knocked me out too.”

“For less than five minutes. Buzz upset the interviewee and he reacted rather angrily. He’s being held on an assault charge now.” 

Woody nodded.

“What’s your injury, Lightyear?” Carsons asked.

“Mild head injury. Cowgirl over here is gonna talk my ear off to make sure I’m not gonna fall asleep for a bit,” he chuckled at the look on Jessie’s face and then continued on, “But I should be okay. I think.”

“You think?” 

Jessie noticed Buzz’s discomfort with having three of her assistants, Barbie, Butlin Cupter, and Blake Slink sitting there. Even if they were twelve hours spaceflight away.

“Ms. Roberts and Misters Cupter and Slink, go back to your work. Send me status reports through Dr. Pride twice daily, please,” she requested.

They nodded and left room and left the screen.

“Well, uh, is it normal to… dream... when I’m knocked out?”

“What did you dream about?”

“A dog. That talked. From _Up_.”

“What did he say?” Dolly asked.

“A lot of things, but he said that he loved me.”

“Aren’t dogs amazing?” Carsons said, more to himself than to Buzz.

“That’s sweet,” Jessie said. She touched Buzz’s arm.

“When was the last time you saw _Up_?” Woody asked.

Buzz turned to Jessie and asked, “Didn’t we watch it two weeks ago…?” 

“Oh yeah, that’s right.”

“That is interesting,” Carsons said. He looked rather thoughtful.

Dolly snickered.

“Ken, we just watched a movie. We do that,” Buzz said. He sounded defensive. 

“Did either of you cry?” Carsons asked.

Jessie gave Carsons a look that said, “I am not telling you.”

“Okay, we have to go. We still have a few more things to do here at Kepcritica. We should be back in about two days,” Buzz said and ended the connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the name of a planet: Kepcritica. Critica part came from the fact that at the time I was writing this chapter, the Critics Choice Movie Awards was on VH1, and I think Kep came from Kepler.


	4. Chapter 4

Thirty hours later, they had completed their mission on the planet, and sat in a diner at Kepcritica before they were to leave to head back to Earth. 

“I know we can’t have alcohol right now, but how’s about Kepcritica cuisine? No alcohol, it’s safe and we can travel right after,” Jessie said.

“Okay. Why?”

“Come on, I’m an anthropologist. I study cultures. Food is a pertinent component of all cultures, Buzz. I’d be inattentive if I left planet without consuming their foodstuffs.”

He nodded. 

He watched as she took a glass of a liquid something light blue in color and took a few swallows of the fluid.

“What is that?” he asked her.

“Kepcritica delicacy. An analogue on Earth is a soda, but this is far healthier, has no caffeine, and tastes like cherries,” Jessie said. “Drink yours. It’s the same.”

Buzz did.

“It’s good,” Buzz said.

“Told you.”

Pause. And then, “Are you okay?” she asked as she began to eat. 

Buzz gave her positive affirmation slowly before saying, “I’ve been injured before, Cowgirl. And besides he barely hit me.”

Jessie gave a hiss of disagreement.

“Are you gonna start a fight with me in this Kepcritica diner right now?”

She shook her head, her mouth full. He went back to eating his dish.

“We will be going autopilot for at least half the trip back to Earth though. Neither of us have had any sleep in a day. We should use the trip back as time to sleep,” Jessie said once she had eaten about half her plate.

Buzz nodded. 

“I’m glad that you know so much about space flight that you are fine with autopilot now,” Buzz said. He gave her big grin.

“Lightyear – I’ve been your partner for seven years. We have gone on more than 150 space flights together. I’ve gotten used to it,” Jessie said. 

 

 

 

Thirty minutes later, they had eaten and were back on the ship. 

“Autopilot will go on as soon as we’re in Earth’s direction. We should try to sleep for eight of the twelve hours, as that’s the recommended amount of sleep everyone is supposed to get,” Jessie said.

“I would like to sleep. I feel fine.”

“I want you to be connected to the vital signs monitor while you sleep, however,” Jessie said.

Buzz groaned. 

“Carsons suggested it. And I thought that it’d be a smart idea,” Jessie explained. “Lightyear, just do it. I want to make sure you’re healthy while on the flight home.”

He looked at her directly in the face, perceived the anxiety in her eyes, in the lines of her brow, in her lips, and could not say no. So he agreed. 

 

 

 

Autopilot was on; they were headed home for Earth, situated in the sleeping quarters, merely in the purple body garment. She silently put the vital signs monitor devices on his chest and arms. They had already listened and responded to any messages sent to them from the Bonandsunian, this time sent by Dolly. Buzz rather enjoyed the fact that she touched him so tenderly and carefully. She turned on the monitor.

She watched the monitor for a minute before speaking. She looked at him and spoke, “Okay, it’s on, heart rate is a little elevated, about 120 beats per minute. I am not worried, however. You’re possibly just excited.” Her eyes trailed to the lower half of his body and went back to his face. “Calm down, Buzz, go to sleep.” She sat up from her spot next to him and walked over to the bed a few feet from him.

He reclined on the spaceship bed and sighed. She watched him for a moment, and then sat down at her own bed, gently pulling the purple body garment’s zipper down so that her chest was somewhat exposed. She lay down on the bed, covered herself with a blanket, and closed her eyes.

He turned himself on his side, noticing his body’s more noticeable reaction to her touch, hoping that if she noticed (and he was certain that she did), she would not say anything. He took a few deep breaths and watched his BPM go down to 100 and then finally, 65. He went to sleep…

 

 

 

Somehow he did not feel like he was dreaming. And yet, he must be. He stood in what felt like an animated room. Plush and posh, and not quite his century. He felt that he was in pre-nineteenth century Arabia. A parrot sat to his left. He recognized the parrot. 

And when it spoke, he knew further who it was, “HEY, YOU!”

Buzz almost jumped back. The parrot was loud and quite rude.

“What the hell, Lightyear! You’ve known her for seven years! What you can’t tell that you want her?! That human-loving dog figured that out!”

“We’re partners. Professionals,” he said. 

“YOU! ARE! A! MAN!” Iago yelled. “I don’t care about that partners crap. YOU. KNOW. YOU. WANT. HER.”

“And what if I do? She might not want me.”

“She’s stayed your partner for SEVEN YEARS.”

“We work together well.”

Iago yelled again. 

“YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?!” Iago yelled. The scarlet macaw had numerous feathers coming out of place. “I’M MOLTING.” 

“You’re the one having a tantrum,” Buzz told the bird.

“That’s because I know what love looks like. I’ve seen it with Jasmine and Aladdin. You could have that with your lady Doctor friend. DON’T SCREW THIS UP, LIGHTYEAR. NOW GET BACK TO SLEEP.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could hear Gilbert Gottfried say Iago's lines in this chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Buzz awoke with a beep to his side, the vital signs monitor saying that his heart rate was slightly elevated. He took a few deep breaths, looked at the time across from him and saw that he had slept only four hours. He looked over a few feet next to him. Dr. Cowgirl was asleep, on her back, her hair out of her braid, one hand on her chest, the other laying under the blanket. He looked at her for a few more moments, noticed that she was in the middle of REM sleep, and was smiling in her sleep. Glad that she was sleeping peacefully, he closed his eyes and went to sleep again. 

For the last three to four hours of the trip home, covering their home Solar System they were awake for the ride. Jessie spent the last hour at the communications terminal before joining Buzz for final descent. 

“So, appointments with Doctors Carsons and Pricklepants before we do anything else?” Buzz asked as they changed into non-space flight clothes. 

“Yes, Carsons with you, Pricklepants with myself. After I meet with Dr. Pricklepants, I’ll go home for about an hour or two, and then go back to the Lab.”

“Take the day off, Cowgirl, you just spent the last three days working nearly nonstop.”

“And what about you?” Jessie asked. She turned around to look at him. 

He turned around, pulling a t-shirt on his torso and started walking. “See the graphic tee shirt and blue jeans? I’m going to take the day off.”

Fifteen minutes later, they were in separate rooms meeting with their psychologists. 

“How’s your head?” Carsons asked, as he sat in front of Buzz, both in large comfortable armchairs.

“It’s fine. Dr. Cowgirl had me hooked up to the vital signs monitor for most of the trip back to Earth. The results of that,” Buzz said. He handed Ken a bunch of papers. 

Ken looked at the beginning of the papers.

“Why the elevated BPM at the beginning? Can you explain that?” 

“Uh… she was touching me to put on the vital signs monitor thingys and…” Buzz trailed off.

“You became aroused by her touch?” Ken asked. 

Buzz didn’t look at Ken but his face flushed. When he finally looked at Ken again, he nodded.

“It’s a perfectly normal physiological reaction. You shouldn’t be ashamed.”

“I know that.”

“And Dr. Cowgirl is an attractive woman.”

Buzz nodded. “I know that too.”

“When you’re on those missions do you or Dr. Cowgirl take care of those sexual urges that would naturally come?”

“She and I have never had intercourse, if that’s what your question is implying.”

“But you’d like to.”

Buzz pulled at the collar of his t-shirt.

“But that wasn’t my question. When on off-planet missions, do you ever masturbate? And do you know if she ever does that?” 

“Why are you asking that?” Buzz asked.

“It’s a question, in the interest of psychological inquiry. It would be perfectly understandable. You both volunteered in sessions that you’ve seen each other naked.”

“We’ve argued naked too,” Buzz said under his breath.

“What?” Carsons asked. 

Buzz explained.

“And now you’re going to read into it. It doesn’t mean anything psychological.”

“Maybe the reason why you two argue is because of the sexual tension.”

“There is no sexual tension,” Buzz said.

“You admitted to being aroused by her.”

“I’m a heterosexual man. She’s a woman!” 

Carsons sighed.

“You never answered my question about masturbation, Lightyear.”

Buzz groaned.

“This stays here, right?”

“I’m a psychologist. I have that standard of ethics. Yes, your answers stay here and with you.”

“If we’re on a long trip, and we have to sleep, once in a while – I don’t know how many times this has happened – I’ll hear her moan or sigh in a pleasurable manner that is definitely… that sort of thing.”

Carsons nodded. “And you…?”

“I… try not to. And if I do, I either leave that room or make sure she can’t see me. Or she’s fast asleep.”

 

 

 

“Hello, Dr. Cowgirl!” Dr. Gordon Pricklepants exclaimed as Jessie came into his office. Pricklepants was a portly man, like how Jessie imagined Santa Claus to look, if he was real. He was graying in the front and temples, with mostly dirty-blond hair. Jessie preferred him to Carsons, as Pricklepants did not poke and prod like Carsons did. 

“Hi, Dr. Pricklepants!” Jessie said. She sat down in the chair in front of him. 

“How was your Kepcritica trip?”

“Successful, if not tiring. Buzz got punched out at one point.”

“I heard, yes, yes.”

“Carsons?”

Pricklepants nodded.

“Carsons asked me to hook Buzz up to a vital signs monitor for the trip home. I gave it a look and his heart rate was fine. He’s okay.”

“Are you okay?”

“Of course. I was worried about him, but I’m glad he’s okay.”

“And your relationship with him…?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, he’s a man, you’re a woman. You’re often on long trips together.”

“I have never had sexual intercourse with Buzz Lightyear!” Jessie exclaimed. 

“I wasn’t even asking that, Dr. Cowgirl and you went there,” Pricklepants replied. “But, I believe you.”

“But, I understand why you’d press the issue. We’re alone sometimes for days at a time: sleeping in the same room, seeing each other in the nude. When I put the monitors on Buzz, I saw that he was aroused.”

“Does that bother you?”

Jessie thought about it for a few moments. Pricklepants watched her as her brow furrowed before she said anything, “No.”

“Why?”

“It’s a natural, physiological reaction. I cannot fault people for that. It is not logical.”

“Okay.”

 

 

 

An hour after her appointment, after a shower and change of clothes, Jessie was back at the Lab. She figured she would slip in undetected and just work, but that didn’t quite work out. This being as her coworkers and friends were happy to see her after being away from her for several days.

Dolly greeted her first with a “Sweetie!” and before Jessie knew it, black and purple hair was in her face, as she hugged Dolly back.

“I’m glad to see you, too,” Jessie said. 

When Dolly pulled away she said, “We didn’t expect you to come into work today. You know you can have the day off. In fact, didn’t Estelle tell you to take today off via a message sent in the last six hours? She told me she did.”

“Yes, Dr. Potead did. And since you, her, and Lightyear want me to take the day off, I will. I’ll just take care of a few things for an hour, and then go back home.”

“And I’ll come over in the evening and we can have drinks, Sweetie.” 

“That sounds great, Dolly.”

“Doctor Cowgirl!” Barbie said running toward her from workstation. “I thought I heard your voice. It’s so good to see you again!”

“Hello, Miss Roberts,” Jessie said. “Even though you saw me on at least one video communication while I was away.”

“Right.”

Before Jessie did anything else, she went to greet Woody with a hug and spoke with him for a bit. Following that, she worked for an hour in her office, did some quick examinations of some bones, labeled them their species, and then went home.


	6. Chapter 6

“I never got to ask, Jess, how was your appointment with Dr. Santa?”

“Oh, you’re calling Dr. Pricklepants ‘Santa’ because he reminds you and me of Santa Claus in terms of physical appearance,” Jessie said. She chuckled.

Dolly nodded. She took a sip of her apple-strawberry martini. 

Like Dolly had told her earlier in the day, they were at Jessie’s home, having drinks. They were sitting next to each other on Jessie’s comfortable couch, holding glasses of martinis. 

“It was all right. The usual post-space flight stuff. We talked.”

“About Buzz?” 

“Well, yes. That’s part of the conversation, yes. My… lack of a romantic partner came up.”

“When _was_ the last time you had a boyfriend, Jessie?”

Dolly watched Jessie as she reclined a little in the chair. Jessie didn’t respond until she took a long sip from her glass. “Three years.”

“Seriously?” Dolly asked, incredulously. 

“Why would I joke about something like that?” Jessie asked.

“So… you haven’t… with someone in that long?”

“No,” Jessie replied. “How about you?”

Dolly chuckled. “Uh, e-earlier today, actually. Storage room with Woody.” 

Jessie laughed. “I thought so. I do like that you two are able maintain professionalism in the Lab.” 

“Thank you,” Dolly said. She then shifted subjects a bit, “So, why haven’t you had a guy in three years?”

“You act like I haven’t had an orgasm for three years!” Jessie exclaimed. She laughed, took a sip of her drink and then said, “Anyway, my reasoning is that I doubt that my romantic partner would understand my having to be alone with another man in the way Lightyear and I are for extended periods of time. Plus, the last guy I dated didn’t understand and assumed that I was, and I quote, ‘having crazy space sex with the Space Ranger.’”

Dolly nodded. “Neither you and Buzz have had a romantic partner in a long time. Did the two of you make some sort of pact?”

“No. I can’t speak for Buzz, but I haven’t the time or inclination for a romantic partnership. I am away from Earth on average a third of an Earth year, sometimes more.”

“So, you take care of yourself… the solo way?” Dolly asked.

“If you mean, do I engage in masturbation, then yes, I do. Of course.”

“Well, that’s good. Everyone needs a good orgasm.”

“Even at work?” Jessie said a giggle in her voice. She gently nudged Dolly.

 

 

 

Two weeks passed. 

Doctors Estelle Potead, Pride, and Cowgirl, along with Dolly and Buzz stood around a body and various samples taken from a crime scene.

“The victim was found in a partially dug grave fifty yards from an office building owned by the federal government. F.B.I noticed the victim was not human-looking, so they bounced the case to Star Command,” Buzz said.

“Soil samples from the crime scene?” Woody asked. He opened a vial, and sniffed it.

“Oh, I hate when he does that,” Buzz whispered to Jessie. 

“It’s his method. Be glad he didn’t taste it,” Jessie whispered back. Jessie then started to inspect the body. “Okay, these bones, they are not human. I am fairly certain that the victim is Lemituritan. The jaw bone is indicative of this fact.”

“I’ll do a D.N.A. test to be certain, but I trust your certainty,” Estelle Potead said.

“Lemituritans migrated to various planets after the Lemituri sun begun to become a red giant. About five hundred live on Earth,” Buzz explained.

“Yes, and another one million or so live elsewhere in the Universe. They have adapted extraordinarily well. I studied a colony of them on Rowling a few years ago,” Jessie said.

“This soil? I’ll look at it further, but I’m fairly certain, it’s all run-of-the-mill Earth soil common to where the body was found,” Woody said. “I’ll look at the clothing and see if I can find anything interesting.”

“Odds are you’ll find Lemituri soil in a vial on the victim somewhere,” Buzz said. “It’s a sentimental thing.”

“How do you know so much about them?” Jessie asked.

“Well, I helped with the migration.”

This case was fairly easy. Lemituritans, while they adapted fairly well to the Earth environment, they still miss their planet. The reasoning for the murder (by another Lemituritan) was political disagreements. Barbie had figured it out; after all, she was a political science doctoral candidate. 

“Barbie’s a smart girl.”

“You keep that girl around. I know she hero-worships you, but when she gets her doctorate, keep her around,” Buzz said. 

 

 

 

The two sat on his couch at his home. 

“This is Tangean alcohol, right?” Jessie said, as she drank some of it. 

“Yes, a gift from the Tangean princess.”

“Oh, Princess Mira! Yes, she helped me be fitted for the Space Brassiere. She’s a lovely person!” 

“Don’t drink too much too fast. High alcohol content.”

“I know. So, what are we going to do this evening?”

“Watch a movie, drink alcohol, and talk, like usually?” 

“Of course!” 

“And I’ll call Dolly and Woody if you’re still inebriated when it’s over and you’re ready to go.”

“You said ‘Dolly and Woody’? How’d you know they’re sleeping together?”

“Wow, right to the quick. Wasn’t it obvious, Cowgirl? He’ll give her these cowboy smiles. Plus, I’ve seen them walking past my office at the Lab holding hands.”

They never finished an entire bottle of alcohol because they both fell asleep during the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The three years is kinda arbitrary, but I definitely took into account some of Bones canon. Brennan was in a sexual relationship in season 4 and then the next time I think she had sex was when she and Booth finally happened in season 6, in 2011 (a few months after I wrote this fic).


	7. Chapter 7

“Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!” a voice said.

He must be dreaming again. After all, he is underwater, only twelve inches tall, and sitting on a rock. And there is a blue fish in front of him.

“Hi!” the fish said.

“Uh, Dory… right?” Buzz asked.

“Yes!” Dory said. “I need to tell you something but I forgot.”

“Okay…” Buzz said. That confirmed it. 

“Oh! I remember now! Remember what I told Marlin about looking at him and being home?” 

“Yeah. Dr. Cowgirl cried watching the scene. She tried to hide it, but it was obvious.”

“Surely you and this Dr. Cowgirl feel that way about each other!”

“Well, uh, Dory, how do you mean?”

“Lightyear, do you feel comfortable around her?”

“Yes. I’m probably the most comfortable around her. We have to be. She is my co-worker and partner.”

“And friend?”

“Yes, she’s a great friend. Probably one of my best friends, aside from Dr. Pride.”

“Cowgirl and you are great friends. And you could probably have more.”

Buzz awoke to the sound of a phone ringing. His head had been lying against Jessie’s shoulder and he awoke with a start, his head jerking upwards and snorting. Jessie had already grabbed her phone and was about to answer it.

“Hello?” Jessie said. “Hi, Dolly. Yeah, I’m still at Buzz’s. We fell asleep watching a movie.”

“Don’t tell her that,” Buzz mouthed to her.

She put a finger up to signify “shut up” and listened. 

“No, we just fell asleep during a movie. No, I’m fairly cognizant. I’m not drunk. I’ll take Bullseye home. Tell Woody I said hi. Okay. Yes. I love you, too, Doll.” She turned off the phone. 

Buzz laughed. 

“Woody and Dolly say hi.”

“Cool,” Buzz said.

“Did you dream while sleeping? I heard you say ‘Dory’ before you awoke.”

Buzz almost froze but kept a poker face, “Yeah, I was. I had my third Disney related dream in like, 3 weeks or so.”

“That’s interesting. I know you dreamt about the dog from _Up_.”

Buzz nodded. “And on the trip home from Kepcritica, I dreamt about Iago from _Aladdin_. He yelled at me. And I dreamt about Dory from _Finding Nemo_.”

“Carsons would probably have something to say about that and how it means something,” Jessie said. Buzz nodded in agreement. “But you know what I think?”

“What do you think?”

“That we watch too many Disney movies!” Jessie said. “Your brain is probably processing that in amusing dream ways.”

Buzz laughed. 

Jessie looked at her watch. “I better get going.”

“Okay, I’ll see you out, Jessie.” 

She nodded.

He walked her to the door, almost wishing she would stay, but they both had work the next day and that wouldn’t do.

“Hey, you’re a great friend to me. I want you to know that,” he told her.

“Oh. Thanks. You’re a great friend as well, Buzz. I know I think of Dolly as my best friend, but you and Woody would definitely fit in the definition of best friend,” Jessie said.

She surprised Buzz by giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

He watched her get into her Mustang and drive away.

As he closed the door, he sighed. “Yeah, Carsons, you’re right.”

 

 

 

Barely a week later, they had to go on a space flight to a planet in a neighboring Solar System, the space flight would only take just over eight hours, and they would have gone alone, but...

Carsons was at the Museum that day, and Woody was in earshot. 

“So, you want me to go now? With only five minutes notice?” Jessie asked. 

“Hey, we haven’t gone on a space flight together for about three weeks, I thought you’d jump at the chance!” Buzz replied. 

Their argument took place outside her office. Buzz held a folder in his hands, dressed in a purple and lime green Star Command regulation plainclothes suit.

“You could have called me before coming from the Satellite. I’m examining the remains of a 1000 year old cow.” 

Buzz laughed. “Cowgirl, this is far more interesting than a cow,” Buzz said. 

They continued arguing in heated but quiet tones.

Carsons had noticed first and started walking towards them; Woody merely had been on his way to talk about something work related to Jessie, they arrived at the same time.

“Cenewnia is only an eight hour flight! We could solve it in about two days and be back for the weekend!” Buzz whispered.

Jessie was about to speak when she noticed they have an audience.

“This is interesting,” Carsons said.

They both said at the same time, “Shut up!” 

“Whoa, you got the unison ‘shut up’, Carsons. They must be really annoyed with each other,” Woody laughed. “What’s wrong, you two?”

“Lightyear,” Jessie began and Woody knew instantly that she was annoyed with Buzz. She only ever called him ‘Lightyear’ when annoyed with Buzz or being serious. “Wants me to go to Cenewnia: an eight hour space flight right now. Absolutely no prior notice.”

“Fine, if you don’t wanna go, I’ll go with another Space Ranger,” Buzz said. He started to walk away.

“No!” Jessie practically shouted. 

“Okay,” Buzz said. “How about I give you two hours? Get your space flight bag, get your prepping done and we’ll go.”

“Can I go?” Woody asked. “Cenewnia is a paradise for my field of expertise.”

“And I have not yet had the opportunity to observe Dr. Cowgirl or Ranger Lightyear interacting in space flight environments.”

“Yes, let’s bring the psychologist with us, that’s a marvelous idea,” Jessie said, sardonically. 

“Dr. Cowgirl, I work for Star Command. Of course I have training in space flight. I have gone on space flights.”

“Just let him go with us,” Buzz said. He looked at both Carsons and Woody, “You have two hours. Get what you need and go.”

Two hours was the perfect amount of time for everyone to get what they needed together, have quick meetings, say goodbyes, and so on and so forth. 

“So, why am I sitting in the very back?” Carsons said, sitting in the third row of the big SUV that Buzz was driving. “Dr. Pride has the whole second row to himself.”

“You were the one who decided to put on the body garment before we even got in the spaceship,” Jessie said, turning around. “I wouldn’t talk too much, though. Lightyear looks annoyed with you.”

“I’m not annoyed with him. I just feel like a lab rat. Can we be quiet until we get in the spaceship please?” Buzz said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "poker face" line is a Lady Gaga reference.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some gun violence in this chapter. Including injuries as a result of gun violence.

The group changing of clothes in the locker room went as thus: Carson chose to wait a bit before he put the actual spacesuit on, to allow more space for the other three to change. He simply did what all social scientists love to do: observe.

“Now, we’ll probably be gone about two days. Star Command in Cenewnia has suspects, we’ll interrogate, look over evidence and the Dirt Whisperer over here will tell us interesting things about that. And we’ll have psychological viewpoints from Carsons,” Buzz said.

Jessie turned around and looked at Woody, giving him a grin before saying, “Did you just call Dr. Pride the Dirt Whisperer?” Buzz didn’t answer for a bit, “Hey, I’m talking to you, Lightyear. Look at me.”

“If she’s half-naked, I’m not turning around,” Buzz said quietly so only Woody could hear him.

“She’s not,” Woody whispered back. “She’s got the body garment on. Chill, Space Ranger.”

Buzz turned around to face her, both of them dressed in all but the actual spacesuit. 

“Yeah, I did. Woody knows things about dirt that I don’t know, like you know things about bones. Ergo,” when Buzz said that, Jessie’s eyebrows raised, “you’re the Bone Whisperer and he’s the Dirt Whisperer.”

“Ooh, nice use of ‘ergo’, Lightyear. Color me impressed,” Jessie said. 

“Is it always like this? Talking and arguing while you change clothes?” Carsons asked.

“Yes!” Buzz and Jessie said. 

“And we’re just talking,” Jessie said. “I think Buzz was being funny, and I like what he had to say.”

The eight hour flight was fairly uneventful. Jessie put Carsons to work by checking the communications terminal every hour, except the hour where they passed through the Kuiper belt and the edge of their Home Solar System and Buzz requested he stayed in his seat. And to not talk as he kept making sounds of astonishment. 

Once they were at Star Command headquarters on the planet, Jessie and Woody examined the remains and the evidence. 

Carsons spent time reading the case file, not wanting to look at a dead body. Buzz at first hovered around Jessie and Woody.

“You do realize how difficult it is to figure out cause of death when you’re hovering around, Ranger Lightyear?”

“Oooh, she used your last name _with_ your title!” Woody said. “She’s not happy with you.” He chuckled. 

“Go sit with Ken for a while. Or, maybe you should interrogate some of the suspects with him,” Jessie said. She continued to study the body while she spoke.

“I like interrogating with you,” Buzz said, mumbling. 

“How many suspects do they have?” Jessie asked. 

“About a dozen.” 

“Well, interrogate half of them with Carsons. Maybe I’ll join you for some of them. Go on,” Jessie said. “I’ll go over to the room if I have any news.”

“All right. I’ll see you, Cowgirl,” Buzz said. He almost went to hug her but she pointed out nonverbally of her glove wearing status, so no hug occurred. “Good luck, Woody.” Carsons was about fifty feet away, sitting on a chair, still in the building, Buzz shouted to him: “Hey, Carsons, let’s go! You’re gonna help me out here!”

Four hours later, Jessie had discovered a few things about the evidence, including the DNA of the actual killer, who could be found in a DNA database of Cenewnians. She had identified the victim, the cause of death, the weapon. 

“I can’t believe you kept Carsons at Star Command,” Jessie said, as she sat in the passenger’s seat. “And yet you brought Woody along.”

“Hey, you brought Woody along to the interrogation room, when you could have told me all the stuff yourself,” Buzz said as he drove to the killer’s home. They had a few Star Command cars behind him as well.

“Are you upset that you let the guy go earlier?” Jessie asked.

“Of course!” Buzz gave the steering wheel a punch.

“Don’t hit the steering wheel. It hasn’t done anything to warrant that kind of abuse,” Woody said. 

Buzz exhaled. 

Sometime later, they were at their destination. Woody got out of the vehicle on the same side as Buzz, and Buzz said, “Okay, Pride, if something happens to me in there, you drag the Cowgirl Doctor out of there. As fast as you can. Even if she’s kicking and screaming.” He whispered it as quick as he could, so Jessie, who at this point, was not far near them, could not hear. 

“So, are you going to arm us?” Jessie said. “You seem to be pretty keyed up about this guy. Carsons was pretty adamant that the guy was sociopathic.”

“You’re not being armed. We got several other Rangers here. You stay behind me, both of you. No arguments.”

Apprehending of the killer was definitely a rough spot. They caught him and put him away, of course, but the guy did not go down without a fight. Plus, they did not exactly corner him in the best way, and thus he managed to injure both Jessie and Buzz. Buzz maintained that he wouldn’t have been injured had he wore his Space Ranger suit, as his injuries were to places that would have been covered, such as a shoulder dislocation, the pain causing him to pass out. He also got punched in the face and a gunshot grazed his upper shoulder. Jessie’s injuries involved a gunshot to her thigh, in the fat of her thigh, so it was not all that serious. 

Buzz and the bad guy had gotten into an altercation during the capture of the killer, and Buzz did not consider the guy’s strength, and the guy managed to dislocate Buzz’s shoulder, shoot Buzz and Jessie with the same bullet (forensics figured that one out), and punch Buzz. 

Once all this happened, luckily there were a few Star Command Rangers in the building, so, they arrested the guy, and helped out Jessie and Buzz. 

Jessie barely noticed that she was shot, and in fact it wasn’t until she put pressure on the thigh, when she sat by Buzz making sure he was not moving his arm.

“Dr. Cowgirl,” Woody said. “Put pressure on your thigh. You have a wound. Or I’ll do it.” He grabbed a towel from a Space Ranger nearby and put it on her thigh and held it there.

“I was shot?” Jessie asked.

“Apparently,” Woody remarked. He pointed to her thigh and she looked at it, gasping. “Is he okay?”

“Right shoulder dislocation, bullet grazed the shoulder as well, and there is a periorbital hematoma in process on his left eye,” Jessie said. 

Woody thought she sounded remarkably calm given the current situation. 

 

 

 

“Asante sana squash banana!” the mandrill in front of him said. 

“Oh, it’s the monkey,” Buzz said. He realized immediately, apparently, he was dreaming. About Rafiki, from _The Lion King_. 

“Actually, I’m a mandrill. And you are not!”

“You must be a little confused,” Buzz said. “I’m a Space Ranger.”

“Yes, yes, of course. I know you are. Buzz Lightyear. One of the best. Partnered with Dr. Jessie Cowgirl. Ask her about mandrills, she’ll tell you a lot.”

“Are you here for some reason? I mean, surely I’m dreaming about you for a reason?” Buzz asked. He winced, expecting the mandrill to hit him with his stick. 

“Of course I am!” 

“So, tell me. I have to wake up soon.”

“Yes, yes, I know.”

This seemed to be getting nowhere. 

“What do you need to tell me?!” 

“Upendi.”

“Uh… okay?” 

“You share that with someone special.”

Buzz, despite being familiar with this character could not help to find him annoying, at least in his dream. 

“Thanks for the info, Raffy.”

“IT’S RAFIKI. GO ON.”

“Fine, I’m going!”


	9. Chapter 9

“The Forensic folks at Star Command say that the bullet shot by the perp that ended up in Jessie’s thigh… also hit Buzz’s shoulder,” Woody said. He stood in front of Jessie and Buzz. Jessie sat in a chair beside Buzz, who sat/laid in a hospital bed. 

“Folks?” Buzz said.

“Don’t make fun of his word choices,” Jessie whispered to Buzz. She then spoke louder, “So there was only one gunshot by the perp?”

“Yes,” Woody said. 

“I don’t really remember much from that. Adrenaline made me forget most of that, except for the gunshot, hearing Buzz’s shoulder crack, and that was it.”

“And she’s all right?” Buzz asked.

“I’m right here, Buzz,” Jessie said. “And yes. It hit body fat in my thigh, and stopped there. I only needed stitches, really.”

“I had to stop Cowgirl from trying to pull the bullet out on her own,” Woody remarked.

Carsons looked sick at the thought. 

“You okay there, Carsons?” Buzz asked.

Once Space Command in Cenewnia felt satisfied with the healing of their wounds after about a day or so, they cleared the four for travel back to Earth. 

“I am going to be very happy to be home after this,” Carsons said. “Barbie has informed me that we will be celebrating my return.”

“Uh, we don’t need to know that you’ll be getting laid when we get back to Earth,” Buzz said. 

“Oh, thanks for that image, Buzz Lightyear!” Jessie said, as she gingerly changed out of what they had worn on Cenewnia and into the body garment.

Buzz chuckled. “That’s what upsets you?” Buzz asked. “Despite the fact that if you look anywhere in the room you’ll see several naked bodies?” 

“I see dead bodies all the time; I’m supposed to be squicked by butts?” Jessie asked. “In addition, I have seen most of the men in this room naked before, and I’ve seen naked men in other situations before.”

Once they got back to Earth, they met their friends and coworkers at the Bonandsunian, simply because it was in the middle of the day. 

Both Doctors Potead and Doctor Hamm were working on ancient remains (5000 year old skeleton from Norway). Barbie had been upstairs and Dolly had not been too far from the Poteads. The two young women saw their friends at the same time.

“KENNY!” and there was a loud feminine squeal from the second floor. Doctor Don Potead shouted out in shock. 

“MISS ROBERTS!” Doctor Estelle Potead exclaimed. 

Dolly simply ran up to the three and threw herself in the arms of Woody. 

“I missed you too,” Woody whispered. He kissed her neck.

“Come on,” Buzz whispered to Jessie. He started to walk with her to her office. 

“What?” Jessie said.

“He hasn’t seen her physically in a few days,” Buzz said.

“I haven’t seen her either!” 

Buzz looked at her pointedly. 

“Oh! You think they’re going to have intercourse on the campus of the museum.”

Jessie sat down at her desk and Buzz sat on her couch. 

“You okay?” Jessie asked. “How’s your shoulder? Do you need any painkillers?”

“No, I’m fine. It hurts, but I can deal. I’m Buzz Lightyear, baby!” Buzz exclaimed. “But I did take some painkillers earlier and will take them every couple of hours as recommended.”

Jessie looked proud of him. Buzz considered telling Jessie about Rafiki in his dreams, but Woody and Dolly walked into Jessie’s office.

Dolly gave Buzz a hug, Buzz winced slightly as Dolly bumped against his shoulder. Then she went over to Jessie, who stood up, realizing, and Dolly gave her a big hug. 

“Dolly, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you guys are okay. I almost want to lock all three of you in this office and not let you leave.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Buzz and Jessie said at the same time. Buzz said it louder; Jessie said it under her breath. 

“Buzz would probably shoot open my door, so I wouldn’t do that,” Jessie said. 

Buzz eventually did mention that he dreamt about Rafiki around the time of his shoulder dislocation, but did not give details.

A month went by after that mission to Cenewnia. Buzz and Jessie stuck to on-planet cases while Buzz recovered from the shoulder dislocation. 

“My doctor says my shoulder is healed. And it doesn’t hurt anymore! We can resume space flights whenever!” Buzz said as he walked with Jessie towards her car on their way to speak with a victim’s family.

“Well that’s good. I am glad your shoulder is less of a bother now. Plus, I actually miss space flight,” Jessie said. Once the two had arrived at her car, she stopped speaking, the smile that was on her face disappeared, and she stared at her car. 

Buzz realized almost immediately what just happened. Her heavy, irregular breathing was evident to her mental state. The car had triggered an anxiety or panic attack, maybe both.

“Doctor Cowgirl?” Buzz spoke softly. 

She did not respond, merely just her heavy breathing. She turned away from the car, almost as if she was terrified of the car. 

He heard her whisper something akin to “Won’t go back in the dark.”

“Jessie,” Buzz spoke clearly. “Come back.” He walked closer to her, his face inches from her own and said, “You are not in the dark of that car anymore. The sun is out, do you feel it? You’re safe with me. I’ll drive, okay?”

He enveloped her in a hug and she hid her face in his jacket. He kissed her forehead, and his hands gently made their way through her red hair. 

A few minutes later, he drove the Mustang while Jessie sat in the passenger seat. 

“Jessie, talk to me here. And breathe in and out, slowly.”

Jessie did what she was told and then said, “I just had a panic attack.”

“I know. You wanted to run away from the car, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Yes,” Jessie said. She paused. “Sometimes, I can still hear the crack of your shoulder when it was dislocated. That sound is one of the most frightening things I have ever heard.”

“I understand. Especially given that you know bones so well.”

“And because it’s you. I don’t want to hear that kind of thing connected with your own bones.”

“Jessie, I’m okay now. I told you that.”

“I know,” she sniffled. From the corner of his eyes, he saw her wipe her face with her sleeve.

That night, he had a dream in which he remembered. At first he thought that the redheaded woman standing in front of him may have been Jessie, but this woman had shorter hair, and brown eyes, rather than Jessie’s green. Plus, this woman was slightly older than Jessie’s and his own mid-30s. He recognized from the woman’s hips that she was a mother: something he learnt from Jessie. And then he realized who the woman was… 

“Elastigirl?” 

“I’m called Mrs. Incredible now,” she said. “But, really that’s the same thing. Call me Helen if you want. Hello, Buzz Lightyear!”

“Hi, ma’am.” He bowed his head a bit.

“Buzz, you are a good man. Dr. Cowgirl knows that.”

“Of course. She’s had plenty of experience with my goodness.”

“Telling you to take care of her and to listen to her seems rather redundant as you already do that. But, I will tell you this… she very likely cares about you in the same way that you care about her,” Helen said. “I can tell you that she will have a realization of how she feels about you. But I cannot tell you anything else.”

“Why not?”

“Good man, I cannot.”

Buzz woke up quietly. He allowed his body to come back from the dream state and he sighed. 

“Again? What is with these characters invading my dreams?” Buzz spoke softly to himself. He turned over on his side, touched his head and then went back to his sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Next day at the Lab, while he mentioned to Jessie that he dreamt about this character from _The Incredibles_ , he saw from behind Jessie’s shoulders, a woman at some distance waving at him. And he instantly recognized her. But knew she couldn’t be real.

What surprised him is that when he and Jessie walked over to the forensic area to look at what she had to share with him, Dolly and Woody happened to be singing not far from the two of them:

“Once you find your center…”

“You are sure to win…”

“You’re a spineless, pale pathetic lot and you haven’t got a clue.”

“Somehow I’ll make a man out of you!”

“Doctor Pride, Miss Casablanca, please don’t sing that song. It will get in my head and distract me,” Jessie said. 

“Sorry,” Dolly said. “We took a page from your and Buzz’s book and watched that movie last night. Isn’t Shang very attractive, though?”

“Well, I find that for an animated man, he is certainly drawn pleasantly.” 

“So, Doctor Cowgirl, what’s the plan today?” Buzz asked.

“Well, I’d like to go back to the crime scene with you, Dolly, and Doctor Pride to investigate the scene,” Jessie said. 

“Sounds good.”

Dolly and Woody sat in the second row of Buzz’s SUV while he drove and Jessie sat in the front passenger’s seat.

“All right, Dolly, I’d like to you to sketch the crime scene. Woody, you can take various samples from the area.”

On the way there, at a red light, in the rear-view mirror, Buzz turned around very quickly because in the mirror was a woman in the third row. She said, “Hello, Lightyear.” And it was when she spoke that she realized who she was. She was Asian descent, with short black hair, dressed in a simple wrap shirt. He also noticed that she had to be no older than 20. He almost said her name aloud but didn’t.

“Light’s green,” Jessie said.

“Oh!” Buzz said, and pressed the gas pedal. 

At the crime scene, Buzz stood next to Dolly who sketched the crime scene. Jessie and Woody were working together looking for any evidence that may have been overlooked.

He watched Dolly for a few moments and then turned to look up at Woody and Jessie to see the same woman next to Jessie pointing at something not far from Jessie. 

“Tell her to look over there, Ranger. It’s important,” the woman said.

Buzz nodded and mouthed to her, “Okay, Mulan.”

He walked over to Jessie and pointed at what Mulan had pointed towards. “What’s that over there?” he asked.

“Oh!” she said. 

She had discovered a key piece of evidence. 

“How did you see that?” Jessie asked. 

“Uh… you wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Buzz said, evasively. “I’ll tell you later.”

Jessie nodded, understanding. 

A couple hours later, once they had finished their investigation of the scene, Buzz sat in his office on the museum campus working on paperwork when Mulan came into his office and sat down.

He looked up, went back to his paperwork, and did a double take.

“Okay, um, you’re a fictional character. You’re not real. You’re a teenage Han Chinese girl from a Disney movie!” Buzz exclaimed

“That’s correct, Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear. I am Fa Mulan. Who battled Shan Yu and saved China,” Mulan explained.

A pause. Buzz considered if he should keep speaking to this girl.

“I have to tell you two things: you should tell Doctor Jessie Cowgirl how you found that evidence. I helped you. And you should also tell her that you love her,” Mulan said. 

“How… do you know how I feel about her?”

“Because I know things about your brain that you don’t.”

He was saved from answering when Jessie came into his office. Mulan sat up from the chair she had been seated and stood on Jessie’s left who sat down where Mulan had just vacated.

“How did you know where that evidence was?” Jessie asked.

“Tell her!” Mulan said.

“Uh… because Mulan pointed it out to me.”

“What?” Jessie asked.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“She’s been showing up like all today, in the weirdest places. She’s even spoken to me. She’s actually standing to your left.”

Jessie looked to her left, and shook her head. Mulan smiled at her, and mouthed to Buzz, “she can’t see me!” 

Jessie said, “There’s no one there, Buzz. But, if you’re seeing something that isn’t there… this isn’t good. We need to get this checked out.”

“I’m fine, Jessie.”

“No.” Jessie stood up and walked over to where Buzz sat behind the desk. She turned his chair to face her and squatted so that she could look at him in his eyes. “That’s a sign of something else. You’ve been knocked out a few times and you said you’ve seen a dog, a scarlet macaw, a pacific blue tang, a mandrill, and two women, all characters in Disney movies, all in the last two months. I don’t think these are legitimate dreams. Please. We need to check this out. Please.” 

Thus, this is why Dolly and Barbie, along with Doctors Potead, Pride, and Carsons sat in a hospital waiting room. Carsons paced around the room; Dolly and Woody held hands, and both Poteads sat quietly next to one another. 

“Ken, don’t pace. It’s obsessive-compulsive and it won’t help your psychological panic,” Barbie said. “You of all people should know that.”

Realizing that he was behaving in an obsessive way, he sat down.

“I’m sorry. I see Buzz as my friend and I just want him to be okay. I’m not in therapist-psychologist mode at the moment. This is friend mode.”

Everyone in the room nodded, not sure what to say, hoping Jessie would be back with news of any kind. 

And she did. 

Dolly stood up immediately, walked over to Jessie and without a word, hugged her. When Dolly let go from the hug, but still kept a hand touching Jessie, the others had gathered around Jessie, waiting for her to tell them anything.

“Buzz…” Jessie took a deep breath and continued, “Has a brain tumor. According to the CAT scan, it is located where the temporal, parietal, and occipital lobes meet. It is benign as far as they know but they are preparing him for surgery as I speak.” Her voice cracked when she said, “He should be fine.”

“Doctor Cowgirl, you should be with him now,” Carsons said. “He needs a friend.”

She nodded. 

When she was back in Buzz’s room, she sat by his side. “You should be fine. They have done this surgery before.”

“I know.”

“They won’t allow me in while you’re in surgery (I asked), but I’ll stay within the hospital. I’ll even walk with you before they take you into surgery. I won’t leave.”

He nodded. 

“There’s one more thing you need to know,” Buzz said. 

“What’s that?” Jessie asked. She smiled at him.

“I love you.”

She gasped, but was unable to respond, as Buzz’s doctors had begun the process of wheeling him towards the surgery room. 

She walked with them, of course. Thinking about what he had said to her, and she knew exactly how he meant it. And she realized something. 

Before she had to take her leave from the surgery area, she looked down at Buzz, having asked if she could speak with Buzz just before. She whispered four words to him: “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't have Mulan without "I'll Make A Man Out Of You", eh?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some sexual content in this chapter.

Buzz was fine: the surgery was a success, the tumor had been removed, and there were no complications. And Jessie sat by him in the recovery room, sometimes being joined by Woody, Dolly, and sometimes Carsons and Barbie. Buzz recovered completely within a month from the surgery. Jessie and Buzz had not discussed their feelings yet: she wanted him to focus on recovery, and Buzz was too focused on recovery to think about it much. But, when he did think about it: he knew that he loved this woman.

Now that he was back to work (currently: desk work either at Bonandsunian or at an on-planet Star Command office building), he was ready to confront it. And he finally got a chance when one evening, Jessie knocked on his home front door. When he opened it, Jessie wrapped her arms around him and he held her.

“Buzz, I meant it: I love you,” she whispered. 

She touched his face tenderly, and with both hands, pulled his face toward her, and their lips collided together. They both had kissed others in their lives, but this kiss Buzz would describe as magic, and far better than any kiss they had ever had. He returned the kiss just as heavily, pulling her closer and holding onto her waist. They kissed for several minutes. 

When they withdrew, Buzz said, “I love you so much. I cannot imagine being with any woman aside from you.”

She shed a tear and he wiped it away.

“I haven’t had a romantic partner in years. I want to be with only you, Buzz Lightyear.”

He kissed her again, and he felt her hands brush against his stomach as she unbuttoned her blouse. They looked at each other deeply in the eyes and he felt her hands pull against his shirt. Without a word, he pulled away, and pulled his shirt off.

“Bedroom,” she whispered.

And he knew that they were to go further that night than they had before: they were to show their love to one another physically.

She pulled her blouse off and dropped the article on the floor on the way to his bedroom. He kissed her neck, her shoulder, and pulled away the straps of her bra off of her shoulder, and undoing the clasp, until the bra lay on the floor next to their shoes. 

They embraced again, her head against his shoulder. He kissed her again. After the kiss, she pulled at his pants, undoing the buckle and zip, and he let the rest of his clothes fall from his body. He pulled her skirt down her legs. Jessie lay down on his bed, merely dressed in her panties. Buzz kissed her on her stomach, and with her help, pulled her panties down. He joined her on the bed.

They faced each other, lying on their sides. 

“I want to make love to you,” she whispered.

“Don’t you usually refer to sex as sexual intercourse?” Buzz asked her. 

“That is an emotionless phrase. It is clinical, formal. Making love is emotional. The end result is emotional intimacy, orgasm is secondary. I just want to be with you,” she explained. 

He leaned forward and kissed her again, his hands caressing her up and down her naked body. He pulled her closer, and she held onto him around his shoulders, kissing him more and more, and they continued to hold onto each other, touch one another, and soon she found, with a shock of realization that she lay on top of him… and Buzz was inside her.

“Buzz, I love you,” she whispered. 

“I love you, Jessie,” he whispered. 

They continued to kiss and caress, their bodies so close, a part of Buzz inside of Jessie, a thrust there, a push there, a moan there, a sigh there. 

Eventually, even if she considered orgasm to be secondary, they both achieved an orgasm. She sighed and moaned pleasurably, whispering his name as she climaxed looking deep into his eyes and he followed right after…

That night, she lay in his arms, holding onto him as they slept. The next morning, when she awoke, it took a moment for her to realize what had happened between them, and she was happy. 

“Do you regret last night?” Buzz asked, as they lay in bed, not wanting to leave the sanctity of the bed.

“No. Why would I? Do you?”

He was relieved when he realized that Star Command and the Bonandsunian had no issues with romantic relationships between co-workers. 

“Not at all, Jessie. I regret waiting this long.”

And eventually, they got out of bed, got dressed, and headed to work. Jessie planned on keeping it to herself, at least at first, about what had happened between the two of them, but as she sat in her office working, her hair in a partial braid, still wearing what she had worn the previous night, Dolly came in to visit with her.

“Hey, Sweetie!” Dolly said. She then stopped and sniffed the air for a moment.

“What are you doing? Smelling the air?” Jessie asked. She chuckled.

“I know that smell. It’s satisfaction,” Dolly said. Then she looked at Jessie, and she realized that she wore the same thing she wore last night, and saw how bright her face looked, even if she barely wore make up. “Oh my Stars.”

“What?” Jessie said. 

“Who did you have sex with? Do I know him?”

“I wouldn’t call it sex. I’d call it making love.”

“Who?”

Jessie sighed, smiled, and then said, “Buzz.”

Dolly squealed. Loudly. 

“Miss Casablanca!” Jessie exclaimed. 

“Stars! I’m so happy you finally realized that you love him! You do love him, yes?”

“So much.”

Woody walked into the office, looking at Dolly and Jessie. “What made you squeal so loudly?” Woody asked her.

Dolly gave Jessie a pointed look and whispered in Woody’s ear.

“Oh! Congratulations Jess. I’ll have to give Buzz my congratulations later. I was wondering when that would happen. Don’t let Miss Roberts know before Carsons. You should give him that happy news with Buzz.”

Jessie laughed.

In the end, Carsons and Pricklepants got to learn together at the same time, while the two sat in front of them, for which both of them were incredibly happy. Everyone was incredibly happy about the outcome. Jessie and Buzz were together for many years to come. Or rather, forever, for the rest of their lives.


End file.
